What keeps us from changing?

Human feelings amaze me. It drives much of our behavior. It appears clear to me that children (certainly my child) do not contain the relationship between their feelings and behavior.

“I am hungry” = “WAAAAHHHH”
“I am sitting in stinky doo” = “WAAAAHHHH”

Even 5 and 6 year olds struggle to contain any of the relationship between feelings and behavior.

“I am hungry” = “Mooommm. (very whiny) What’s for dinner? … I WANT IT NOW!!!”
“I am tired” = Fierce rubbing of the eyes, whining, crying, and immense stubborn behavior

As we grow up, we are constantly being bombarded with “Helpful” ways to contain the relationship between our feelings and behavior.

Depression = Think happy thoughts or take medicine or exercise
Fear = Just do it!
Even if it feels good, it may be bad for you = “Deny yourself”

I am sure that there are many more, but I want to focus on FEAR.

There are many people that I have observed that are in severely poor financial condition. It has been brought on by many bad financial decisions. They go through the 13 week personal finance course that I coordinate. In many cases, I have even personally counseled them. They know the feelings they are having “Fear” of 1) what others may think 2) that they might have to change their behavior.

I find that FEAR paralyzes. Even in HORRIBLE situations, fear can paralyze. It is much like the extremely young child. Fear completely paralyzes them.

Let me illustrate …

My daughter was recently crying and begging to talk to me. She had been told by a cousin of the same age that there are monsters that just pop up in front of you. In my daughter’s words, “It freaks me out, Dad! I don’t like it! I’m scared!”

There it is – Fear. It paralyzes.

It paralyzes children. It paralyzes persons in horrible financial conditions.

Only until you bring under control your FEAR of the situation will you be able to make positive change. I am not saying that you will eliminate your fear. I am saying you should bring it under control.

What do you need to do?

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