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What words would you add?

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A reader who identified herself as “KC” wrote an incredible response that I am sharing today (with her permission, of course).

… I will start out with our story. 10 years ago my husband and I were DEEP in debt. It took some very hard years and tough decisions (ie: no car in a northern city where it can snow any month of the year) and giving up some things that we thought were very important to us but… we are now out of debt and even better, we have that elusive 1 million dollars in assets and cash that you speak of.

What’s different? Nothing really.
Only a few lessons that I’ve learned:

If you didn’t tithe before, it’s unlikely that you will now. If you didn’t help your friends, it’s unlikely that you will now. If you don’t already save your money, it’s unlikely that you will now…

Basically I’m saying that unless you start to cultivate these things now, having a millions dollars isn’t going to change that. Your ‘mindset’ needs the change – and the money won’t change that.

I know some people who have nowhere near the million dollars that you speak of, and yet, they do all of these things and more.

With all due respect, you CAN take only $10 and gift it anonymously to someone who needs it more than you (and there is always someone in that position), you can tithe 10% of your income now, you can put money away for your child’s education now – even if it’s only $5, you CAN do all of these things.

Joe, I can understand the motivation behind your question, however I fear that it makes us forget what is truly possible right in front of us and in the situation that we are in right now.

When we were still climbing out of the deep pit of debt, some friends of ours found themselves in an even deeper pit. We helped them a little, anonymously, out of the little bit of money that we’d managed to stash away (leaving it almost at nil). But when I think back over the years, I recall that one over all of the other times that we have helped someone, that time felt as though we really made a difference to them and it made a difference to us.

Additionally, after achieving this momental moment, I’ve also learned something that I didn’t expect. When you ‘over-assist’ someone and they don’t have the joy of succeeding themselves, they don’t have the same joy in your gift. It feels like handcuffs to them. It creates an indebtedness that doesn’t belong in close relationships.

So… I guess that I am saying that a million dollars is not the be-all and end-all, it is simply one step on the many paths of being human.

- KC

All I could say when reading KC’s response was AB-SO-LUTE-LY and Amen sister!

What do you think?

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Recently, I was reading THIS BLOG POST written by Brian Dodd and was floored by two statements made by Shannon Sharpe as he was inducted into the NFL Football Hall of Fame.

Statement #1

“My grandmother never told me as I was getting to leave for Savannah State, ‘Shannon, don’t do drugs.  Shannon, don’t drink.  Shannon, go to class.  Shannon, do your homework.  Shannon, be respectful.  Shannon, iron your clothes.’  She laid that foundation for 18 years.  A 10-minute speech wasn’t going to work now.”

How this statement affected me:  This statement challenges me again to be the best father possible to my children.  My role is to teach, educate, and provide opportunities for my children to grow.  It encourages me to know that the hard-fought battles that every parent faces in raising their children WILL pay off in the future.  This also applies to many people with their finances. Ten minutes of good financial behavior won’t make up for 18 years of poor financial decisions.  It might be a good start, but it certainly can’t erase the results of years of financial mismanagement.

Statement #2

“I want a decent house…  I want to go bed one night, and I want God to let it rain as hard as He possibly can.  And I want Him to let it rain all night long.  I want to wake up and not be wet.” – Quote from Sharpe’s grandmother

How this statement affected me:  My life is so good.  I’ve never had to sleep in a house where I was concerned about the rain getting to me.  I HAVE slept in a tent one night during pouring rain and woke up in two inches of water – and it was MISERABLE.  I can’t imagine it being a fact of life.  Shannon honored his grandmother with this statement by recognizing the sacrifice she made so that he could be positioned to prosper.

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We celebrated it early by taking a 7-day Southern Caribbean cruise with stops in St. Thomas, Tortola, Antigua, Barbados, and St. Lucia on the Caribbean Princess with Princess Cruise Lines – and the entire trip was INCREDIBLE!

On this very special day, I want to list the:

Top 10 Things I Love About Jenn Sangl

1. Smart (dominated classes at Purdue University)
2. Beautiful (gorgeous!)
3. Puts up with me (a major chore)
4. An incredible mother (to 2 beautiful children)
5. Focus (anyone who knows Jenn understands what I mean when I say, “She’s in the zone.”
6. Attention to details (I’m not so good at these)
7. Adaptability (We’ve moved 5 times in 14 years – we’re done with that!)
8. She’s the reason we’ve won with money (The budget was her idea!)
9. Pursuit of God (anchored in the Word)
10. Her laugh (hilarious when she has one of her “spells”)

Marriage is incredible!

What you may not know is Mark and Shawna’s financial story.   If you want to GET FIRED UP and BE ENCOURAGED – take 3 minutes to watch their story:

If you can’t view the video, click HERE.

If your financial story were put into a 3-minute video, what would you say?

“And there will be a party.”   I’m going to that party!!!!

By the way, Mark writes a blog about money and relationships.   You can read that HERE.

GET FIRED UP!!!

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He said, “We need to understand the difference between what is IDEAL and what is REAL.”

This is an absolute truth for so many people when it comes to their finances.   Let’s explore this for a moment.

• IDEAL You want to save $500/month
• REAL You want to save $100/month

• IDEAL Your spouse would love the budgeting process (and the math) as much as you
• REAL Your spouse believes Satan L. Lucifer himself invented math

• IDEAL You want to go to a 7-day Caribbean cruise that costs $4,000
• REAL You have $1,000

• IDEAL You make $100,000 per year
• REAL You make $40,000 per year

I have seen many people become paralyzed because they do not have the “ideal” situation – so instead of doing what the CAN DO, they choose to do NOTHING.

Are you focusing too much on the “IDEAL” and allowing it to distract you from acknowledging what is “REAL”?

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Just make it this week.

Every journey begins with a first step.   Maybe what you need is to set a goal of making it ONE WEEK.

Just ONE WEEK of …

• Living according to the budget you have prepared
• Not overspending your cash envelopes
• Not using the credit card

You CAN do this.   And it starts with making it just this week.

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• I have put off fun too long.  I deserve to have some fun.  It is OK to take a vacation and pay for it with our credit card.
• That is AWESOME!  I want it.  No, I don't want it.  I need it!  It is OK to use my emergency fund for this purchase.
• I am tired of telling my kids, "NO!"  It will be OK to give in just this once and buy the item using some of our savings for the future.
• The roof is leaking!  I don't want to live in a dump anymore.  I am going to move out of here, and I don't care how much it costs.  Who cares if I do not have a down payment or the income to support a larger mortgage payment.

In each case, there is a conscious choice to disregard logical and rational thinking, and we jump into the soup – regardless of the potential future cost.

Here are the top ways I have been able to resist the urge (remember that I am a spender – I definitely experience "the urge")

• We build some "fun" into the budget every single month.  We also save every single month for our known, upcoming, non-monthly expenses like vacation and Christmas.
• Jenn and I each receive spending money every month that we are not accountable to the other for how it is spent.  This allows us to give in to some of "the urge" without destroying the family finances.
• We make it a point to talk to our daughter about "why" we are saving money and putting off some purchases.  She knows that Baby Sangl is going to cost us a lot of money in healthcare costs.  She also knows that we are against all debt on non-appreciating assets (we don't like that type of debt much either).  It reduces the quantity of "I want that!" statements from her too!
• We save for the known upcoming expenses of home repairs.  Most homes are not dumps, they just break down like everything else.  By saving for some of them, we get to see progress.

Any that you would add?

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With that in mind, I want to know the financial questions that you are asking right now.  Our team will gather the questions, prepare a response (minus personal information) and share it in a series of blog posts called, "You asked."

So … Let the asking begin!

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Courtesy of Jason Frame’s website HERE.