How To Crush Your Finances: Divorce
Divorce is one of the top reasons that people struggle financially. The old adage is true:
Marriage is grand. Divorce is one hundred grand.
Divorce crushes finances because:
- HOPE is lost
- Maintaining 2 households instead of 1
- Child support is very costly
- Alimony is very costly
- Attorneys take a huge chunk of cash
Have you been divorced or are you a child of divorce? Would you be willing to share with us your experiences of how divorce has impacted you financially?
I have been divorced for almost 4 years now. I have 2 lovely daughters who, of course, cost me a fortune. Needless to say their father chooses not to pay child support, even though it is only $100 per week. Since becoming a member of New Spring and trusting the Lord with my finances, instead of myself, I honestly have been able to provide for my family just fine. There are times when we do not have a lot of money for outside entertainment, but I have learned my kids are just as happy at home with me and my attention.
I have been a single mom for 12 years. Through the trials, sorrows, healing and victory, My heavenly Father has always been there, yet I didn’t see HIM until HE got me through.
I did a family tree once and there were 13 divorces in my family tree and I only went as far back as my Grandfather….WOW!!!! Divorce hurts, but GOD does HEALS!!!
I myself have had two divorces and two different children from two different marriages. PRAISE THE LORD! that both of my children know Christ and for my youngest (12 going on 13) she is learning to TRUST in HER Heavenly Daddy!!!! She has had her share of hurt as I have growing up. DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION – GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE FIRST IN MARRIAGE – PRAISE GOD FOR HIS HEALING POWER!!
In HIS Name,
Isabel
Finances during my singleness…..what finances? No child support although ordered by the court for him to pay $238 monthly, never saw that amount ever. Every once in a while I get a money order in the mail for about $35 to $50’s and then I praiss the Lord!!
I’ve always had two to three jobs as a single mom to just make ends meet!!
I’ve been divorced for almost two years. My ex-husband lost his job right after our separation and only recently began working again (Thank you GOD!!) It has felt difficult at times during those two years. In the beginning I used money for comfort and shopping as a way to fill my time (aka boredom shopping). It took me a long time to heal and take responsibility for my part of the divorce as well as forgive my husband.
For me, God used my finances as a way to show me what is important in life. When we were a two income household, we were often out spending money, having fun but not connecting with each other (obviously).
I wouldn’t call my current financial situation “comfortable” so I attended the FLE class several months ago. I feel happy to say that I’m finally able to budget and am no longer incurring new debt. YEAH! I’m still living paycheck to paycheck and have terrible credit but I no longer feel overwhelmed by money and with no new debt, I’ve stopped the bleeding so to speak. I’m working on a new plan, which includes how to survive without child support.
Everything is doable with God. He’s shown up for me in so many ways. I even tithe now. I consider that my most important “bill”!
Thank you Joe for all that you do! Shannon
Actually, since my divorce my finances have gotten better. But, I don’t think this is normally the case. My ex-husband refused to tithe properly, his idea was $10-$20 a week.
Soon after the divorce, I began to faithfully tithe even if I didn’t know how I would buy groceries that week. Guess what!?!? God made it work.
My ex-husband was very high maintenance, and though I got left with a lot of bills and the house, it was a lot easier when I didn’t have to support his “needs.” His hobbies included dirt bike riding and bicycle riding. So we had those expensive bikes, maintenance, parts, and riding gear we couldn’t really afford but he always made it a point to buy some new regardless.
In the past year and a half (of single life), my credit card debt is decreasing and I am finding ways to take care of my child. All child support money goes into savings now. I realize I am somewhat lucky to get it, so I need to save it. It’s only $69/week and I could go after more (this was below the amount that could be required at the time and now he works 3 jobs because he wants more toys).
So, honestly, I have to say that with God my life has gotten easier and better for me. But I realize this isn’t always the case and probably far from typical. But I prayed constantly through my divorce and never gave up on God’s ability to work in my life. He has yet to let me down!
I’ve been divorced for 3 years and am starting to find some peace in my finances now through Quicken spending tracking and careful planning. I went from a situation of no debt and savings accounts to living paycheck to paycheck. Not only is the lack of cash unnerving, but the thoughts “it wasn’t supposed to be this way” kept going thru my mind. The topper was when my soon-to-be-ex asked how much of my retirement she (and the guy she left me for) would get (frown).
Divorce Care offers a good video series and support group for those suffering from separation and divorce. I highly recommend it.
We may be the exception to the rule on this one. I am currently going through a divorce. When we got married I was debt free and living life in freedom. I married a man who was dishonest on his views on money and four years later my substantial savings and backup accounts are wiped out, I have to accept half of HIS debt as the accounts looked on our seperation date and I feel like I’m in prison. For now it’s rough, but if I’d stayed in the mess he had created I’d be imprisoned forever. God and I will work through the debt and get back on top.
I am currently going through a divorce. Prior to the divorce, the only debt I had was my student loan from college. With a big move for a new job and the feeling of always wanting to stay busy…going to dinner with friends, buying clothes I didn’t need and refurnishing my condo, I feel like I am drowning financially. It is so hard to get back on track emotionally and financially. After a year, tonight I sat down and filled out my budget form for Oct. I’m scared, but I’m trusting in God that I can financially pull myself back together. Through God’s strength, grace and unconditional love, I’m emotionally feeling better than I have in a long time. Thank goodnes!!
I have to agree with Paul on Divorce Care. I was in the program over the summer. I highly recommend it. I’ve made some wonderful friends through it! We continue to give each other support and strength even after the class. The daily e-mails are great, too. It’s a comfort to know everything I’ve been feeling is ‘normal’.
Niki, your situation sounds very similar to mine. It was amazing how quick things began to look a little better. Mostly because I found hope in my financial situation. I know it’s going to take some time, but I also know the time is coming when I will be nearly debt free! (Except maybe the house….) That will come too, but the thought overwhelms me right now, so I am looking at everything else right now.