SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 5

Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part Five  Be Realistic

It is important to recognize that your spouse may never share your excitement about money management. While an Excel spreadsheet and budgeting may light your fire, it might always drive your spouse crazy. Don’t ask them to become involved with the tasks as much as you ask them to become involved in the decisions and execution.

Think about this for a moment. If you have a reluctant spouse right now who refuses to participate with any money decisions, which of the following is a better outcome?

  1. For your spouse to prepare the budget each month
  2. For you to prepare the budget each month and gain your spouse’s final input and support to follow it?

Of course, the answer is #2. Because it is their involvement you are seeking.

Change is difficult and will take some time. Depending upon the reasons for their reluctance outlined in Part One, it can be vital to seek marriage coaching/counseling.

There is hope, and I should know because I used to be a reluctant spouse. And now I’ve written multiple books on the subject and started a business teaching about it!

SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 4

Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part Four  Invite your spouse to participate

As you tell your reluctant spouse about your plans, hopes, and dreams, you will be sharing your passion. After all, you can’t separate your heart from money. This means your passion will flow out of you as you share your dreams. Bill Hybels has shared this about vision, “Vision is painting a picture with passion and then putting people into it.”

As you passionately tell your spouse of the vision you have for your marriage and future, it is important to “paint them into the picture.” Ask them to share some of their dreams with you. Ask the, “If we won the lottery …” question. Write their ideas down.

Then ask for their help in making those dreams come true.

Let’s be very clear. Ask them to take one step. Perhaps you will ask them to help prepare the monthly budget. Maybe you would like them to accompany you to a meeting with an investment officer. Even bolder, ask them to turn in their debit card and convert to the cash envelope system to control impulsive spending decisions.

Remember: one step. Not twenty. Not even five. One.

I’ll finish the series with an important reminder in Part Five.

Read the entire series (available after 10/21/2014)

SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 3

Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part Three  Share the WHY

As you live out the principles in your life, it is important to begin addressing the reasons you’ve identified as the cause of your spouse’s reluctance to participate in financial decisions. This can include marriage counseling/coaching as well as ongoing one-on-one conversation.

Ultimately, you must convey to them why you want them to participate in financial decisions. This should be done with a few key things in mind.

  • You are both rested  Trying to have a financial conversation when your spouse is exhausted is a recipe for a terrific argument.
  • Without the kids present  Children tend to be very distracting to serious conversation. Hire a babysitter and go out to a nice dinner at a place where you can have a real conversation free of interruptions.
  • Focused on the issue – and the emotions  Attempting to separate emotions from finances is an impossible task. Acknowledge this fact and remain focused on the issues – which is the “why” you want their participation in financial decisions. Don’t make any personal attacks.
  • Not too long  Your spouse probably isn’t naturally drawn to financial conversation like you are. Don’t drag out the conversation.

With these items in place, it is the moment to share WHY you want their help with financial decisions. Have your reasons written down on paper. Your preparedness will quietly convey the importance of this conversation. Remember, “Your level of EXPECTATION will determine your level of PREPARATION.” Because of your high expectations, you must be prepared!

Your reasons should not be focused on financial principles and tools like “I want to have a budget that works.” This is uninspiring to your reluctant spouse. Instead, focus on the outcomes that will occur as a result of excellent budgeting. Outcomes like “I want to be able to retire by age 55.” Even better, “I want us both to be able to retire by age 55.” Here are a few statements to help you get started with your own list:

  • “I want us to be able to build our dream house.”
  • “I would like to own a cottage at the beach.”
  • “I want to pay cash for our children’s college education so they don’t have student loan debt like us.”
  • “I want to see you start that business you’ve always talked about.”

Do you see it? Share the WHY and then apply the fourth step which I’ll share in the next part of this series.

Read the entire series (available after 10/21/2014)

SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 2

Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part Two  Quietly live the financial principles in your own life.

This is very important. Asking your reluctant spouse to take financial steps you are unwilling to take yourself is the very definition of hypocrisy.

If you are asking your spouse to prepare and live by a budget, be certain to prepare and live by a budget each month. Of course, there will be certain categories that your spouse will not follow. For the categories you can control, live out the principles.

Notice the word “quietly” in this key step. It is very unhelpful to announce, “I’m preparing a budget like Joseph Sangl says we should.” or “I’m attacking debt like Dave Ramsey instructs.” or “I called Suze Orman, and she said we can not afford to buy that item.” It only makes a reluctant spouse dislike the financial teacher!

Here are some quiet ways to employ financial principles:

  1. Prepare a budget and post it in a visible place. As you pay bills, mark them off. This demonstrates active utilization of the budget without saying a word.
  2. Utilize one of our free “Savings Spectaculars” (opens in new tab) and begin saving for a dream you both share (like a Disney cruise).
  3. Use cash envelopes to manage impulsive spending categories like groceries, restaurants, clothing, entertainment, and spending money. I’ve prepared a short video HERE (03:16) that teaches how to implement this system.
  4. Write down your plans, hopes, and dreams. Post in a visible location (like the refrigerator) and include some blank lines and a pen. Perhaps they might feel compelled to include a few of their dreams on your list! As a bonus, put the cost of each dream next to each one.
  5. Be nice. Nagging automatically moves people to become defensive.

In Part Three, I’ll be sharing a way to invite your reluctant spouse into the conversation.

Read the entire series (available after 10/21/2014)

SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 1

Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part One  Identify “WHY” your spouse is reluctant to participate in financial matters

This is an important moment for you. Consider the reason(s) your spouse may not want to participate in financial decisions. This is not an attempt to discover what is “wrong” with your spouse. The ultimate goal is to gain understanding.

As a financial coach, I’ve identified several reasons a person takes on the role of “The Reluctant Spouse”:

  1. Relationship Status  Many times, financial behavior is an indicator of deeper relational issues. Are there areas of your marriage that need addressed? In a world full of blended families and past marriages, these past relationships can also play a role.
  2. Income Challenges  When income does not meet expenses, it can cause some people to shut down completely. “There just isn’t enough money to manage,” they reason.
  3. Past Money Mistakes  Has your spouse been burned by a financial decision they have made? Have you made a money mistake that has created a trust issue? Poor money decisions can cause some people to “freeze up” and choose to avoid them completely in the future.
  4. Upbringing  Perhaps their behavior has been informed by their own parents. Maybe they saw all of the money decisions handled by one parent and honestly believe the same should be true for their own marriage. They may have been raised in a family that didn’t hear the word “no” used very often when it came to spending.
  5. Power  Does your spouse feel like you are manipulating them to get something you want? Because money is attached to our hearts (read Matthew 6:21), it is powerfully and deeply connected into our plans, hopes, and dreams.
  6. Education  Most people have had little money education. The feeling of ignorance can be very powerful and cause a person to feel the “fight or flight” defense mechanism.
  7. Embarrassment  No one wants to be perceived as broke or unable to manage their money. We all want to be able to provide well for our family. When one doesn’t feel like they have done this very well, it can be embarrassing. This feeling is amplified if the “the exuberant spouse” is pushing “the reluctant spouse” to meet with a financial coach because they know they will be faced with their financial shortcomings.
  8. Financial Infidelity  Perhaps there is a hidden financial decision that will have to be revealed once “the reluctant spouse” becomes an active participant. It could be a hidden debt, poor spending decisions, an addiction, or hidden income.

Which reasons apply to your reluctant spouse? Again, reviewing these reasons is not to be used as a way to identify “who is right” and “who is wrong.” The goal is to identify the key reasons causing your spouse to be very reluctant when it comes to money decisions.

The first step is to obtain complete understanding. In Part Two, I will reveal another key step you can take, and it’s about YOU – not your reluctant spouse!

Read the entire series (available after 10/21/2014)

Savings Accounts With Online Banks – Why You Should Consider Using One

To be very clear, I am talking about banks that exist almost exclusively “online” – not banks that have a website.

Some great examples of these banks include:

  1. Capital One 360 Savings Account
  2. Discover Bank Savings Account
  3. Ally Bank Savings Account

I have used these type of banks for many years, and I love them!

5 Reasons I Love My Savings Accounts with Online Banks

  1. High Interest  These banks pay interest equivalent to a 30-month CD, but none of the CD restrictions exist (early withdrawal penalty, terms, etc.) As of this writing, these accounts are paying interest between 0.75% and 0.90%. That’s WAY BETTER than the 0.01% that most local banks are paying on simple savings accounts!
  2. No Minimum Balance  While most of these banks require a small minimum amount to open an account, they do not have a minimum balance requirement going forward.
  3. Sub-Accounts  These banks allow you to create “named accounts” within the main account so you can better track your savings for various items. For instance, I have sub-accounts named: “Business Operating Reserves”, “Christmas”, “Vacation”, “Property Taxes”, “Life Insurance”, and “Emergency Fund”  When I log in to my account, I can instantly see how much I have saved for each of these items.
  4. Customer Service  I’ve experienced nothing but the best service from my online banks. They have to, really. After all, they don’t have local branches so the only way they can attract and retain customers is by serving each customer extremely well.
  5. No Fees  I’ve never been charged a fee by my online bank. Not once.
  6. BONUS  Automatic savings – you can create automatic transactions that draft money from your regular bill paying bank account on a frequency that works best for you. I have established automatic monthly drafts so I don’t have to “feel like it” to ensure I save money each month!

I encourage you to click on the links for each of the banks, choose the one that suits you best, and get your savings automated!

Disclosure

Upcoming Speaking Events – Will You Attend One?

Here is my schedule for the next several weeks. I would love to be able to see you at one of these events!

October 5, 2014 (Sunday)  Newhope Church  Durham, NC

October 15, 2014 (Wednesday)  FBC North Brentwood  North Brentwood, MD

October 19, 2014 (Sunday)  The Bridge Church  Goldsboro, NC

October 22, 2014 (Wednesday)  Calvary Baptist Church  Lubbock, TX

October 29, 2014 (Wednesday)  Bethany Baptist Church  Lindenwold, NJ

November 9, 2014 (Sunday)  Crosspoint Church  Morehead, KY

November 16, 2014 (Sunday)  Rehoboth Open Bible Church  Brooklyn, NY

November 23, 2014 (Sunday)  Christ’s Church of the Valley  Royersford, PA

I’m FIRED UP for the opportunities I have been given to teach about practical personal financial principles and tools. We are establishing a great line-up of events for 2015. If you want to provide practical financial teaching to your church or business, start the conversation by CONTACTING OUR TEAM.

Monday Money Tip: Core Principle #4 – Have Fun Managing Money

Many people believe that budgeting requires the elimination of all fun from their life. They believe that anyone who focuses on eliminating their debt will be forced to eat spam and sardines every single day. It just isn’t true, and in this Monday Money Tip, I will show you how to have fun managing your money.
 

 
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Monday Money Tip: Core Principle #3 – Have A Plan For Your Life

Nothing is more powerful than setting a goal and pursuing it. Think about it: EVERY great accomplishment happened because someone first dreamed of it and then made a decision to move. This Monday Money Tip can be life changing!
 

 
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Monday Money Tip: Core Principle #2 – Avoid The Debt Trap

Keeping bad debts in your life can rob people of their dreams. In this tip, I share the importance of avoiding the debt trap.

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Monday Money Tip: Core Principle #1 – Power In Partnerships

There is unbelievable power in partnerships. The partnership between you and your spouse. Business partnerships. Community partnerships. In this tip, I share how these partnerships can help you accomplish far more than you ever thought possible with your personal finances.

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15 of My Greatest Money Decisions

I’ve spent some time pondering the money decisions I’ve made since my “I Have Had Enough Moment” on December 2, 2002. Below is a list of several key moments that have helped me move into a fully funded life.

  1. Deciding to prepare a budget
  2. Contributing the maximum amount to my employer’s 401(k) (back when I was an employee)
  3. Working together with my bride to fund our dreams
  4. Diversifying my investments within the stock market
  5. Diversifying my investments beyond the stock market – land, businesses, etc.
  6. Making giving a top priority – to my church, people in need, and other causes my family chooses to support
  7. Automating my investments into a 529 college savings plan for my children
  8. Seeking wisdom from financially savvy leaders – both personally (local business leaders) and via financial teachers (Dave Ramsey, David Bach, Robert Kiyosaki, etc.)
  9. Tracking net worth on a monthly basis
  10. Building and keeping financial margin
  11. Establishing accountability for wise financial decision making
  12. Eliminating debt
  13. Starting a small business
  14. Purchasing a small business
  15. Relentless pursuit of more knowledge – living the life of a continual learner

Of course, there are many more decisions and moments that have helped me financially, but these particular have helped me tremendously.

What are the greatest money decisions you’ve made?

Ready to take your finances to another level? Check out the “Ultimate Financial Book Bundle Special” – where you can purchase a copy of each of my money books at a special bundle price!

Money is a JOURNEY. Not a MOMENT.

I’ve experienced the following scenario more times than I can count:

Excited person approaches me: “I’m so ready to change the way I manage my finances. I can’t wait to get started. What are some key things I need to do?”

My response: “For me, preparing a list of my plans, hopes, and dreams was my first step. It provided the fuel to make the tough changes in the way I had been managing money. Then I began preparing a written budget – a spending plan – every single month before each month began.”

Less excited person responds: “Oh. Okay.”

You see, in this moment, the person has realized the following truth:

“Money is a JOURNEY. Not a MOMENT.”

This is perhaps the greatest challenge we will face when dealing with our money. Maybe it’s because it is the absolute opposite of poor financial behavior.

For example, when I wanted a new car, I was able to purchase it within a day – and signed up for four years of debt payments. It was a moment. I got what I wanted, and it happened nearly immediately.

However, when I decided to eliminate my debt, it was not a moment. It was a journey. I got what I wanted – eventually instead of immediately. After lots and lots of intense focus, effort, and preparing and living by monthly budgets that reflected my desire to kill my debt.

If you want to truly make your money work for you and prosper, it will require a journey. Not just a momentary desire, feeling or decision.

Monday Money Tip: The Importance of Written Plans, Hopes, and Dreams

In today’s Monday Money Tip, I share about the importance of having written plans, hopes, and dreams. I hope it inspires you to take some time TODAY to write down some of your life’s dreams.

Want to automatically receive a helpful and practical money tip every Monday? Register FREE at MondayMoneyTip.com

Hire Me As Your Money Coach

In case you haven’t heard, registration is now open for the I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. Core Coaching Program (CCP) – my coaching program that includes 14 sessions taught over a year.

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Over the past 12 years, my finances have changed dramatically. From having an average bank balance of $4.13 at the end of every month to owning several businesses. From attempting to teach myself financial principles to teaching hundreds of thousands each year.

It is my passion to help people accomplish far more than they ever thought possible with their personal finances. While I travel all over the U.S. and Canada teaching people about money, I’ve never lost my core passion to help people one-on-one – coaching them through their money journey.

When you sign up for the CCP, you are hiring me to be one of your money coaches. (You do have a money coach, right?) I have personally written each experience, and I teach every one of them. When you have a financial question, there’s a good chance I will be personally responding to it.

The 14 Core Lessons of the Core Coaching Program include:

  1. The Path The I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. Financial Freedom Ladder
  2. Dreams How to accomplish far more than you ever thought possible
  3. Budgeting How to budget in a way that actually works
  4. Saving Money 3 things everyone must save for
  5. Debt How to attack your debt and achieve financial freedom
  6. Investing All the way from investing “basics” to “advanced” investing
  7. Insurance Protecting your financial progress
  8. Comprehensive Financial Plan The most in-depth financial planning lesson you’ve ever received
  9. Net Worth How to calculate, track, and increase your net worth
  10. Children & Money Parents love this practical teaching that helps them prepare their children to win money.
  11. Wills & Estate Planning No one likes to think about it, but the day is coming for all of us. This lesson will equip you to have a rock solid end-of-life plan.
  12. Oxen Study #1 – Identifying Oxen Based on Joe’s book, Oxen, this coaching session will transform the way you think about money and help you identify incredible financial opportunities that could be right in front of you!
  13. Oxen Study #2 – Birthing, Acquiring, and Leading Oxen This session will equip you to acquire “oxen” that will carry your financial burdens for you!
  14. Next Level Thinking In this incredible final coaching session, Joe will share how he was able to transform from “broke thinking” to “financially free living.”

 Upon successful completion of the program, you will even receive a graduation certificate!

If you are serious about taking your finances to another level and want to receive encouragement and accountability along the way, join the I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. Core Coaching Program.

NOTE: Only 150 spots were available for the CCP, and many of those have already been taken. Click HERE to learn more and to get started!

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