Welcome to the latest series at JosephSangl.com – “The Reluctant Spouse”
Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.
Part Five Be Realistic
It is important to recognize that your spouse may never share your excitement about money management. While an Excel spreadsheet and budgeting may light your fire, it might always drive your spouse crazy. Don’t ask them to become involved with the tasks as much as you ask them to become involved in the decisions and execution.
Think about this for a moment. If you have a reluctant spouse right now who refuses to participate with any money decisions, which of the following is a better outcome?
- For your spouse to prepare the budget each month
- For you to prepare the budget each month and gain your spouse’s final input and support to follow it?
Of course, the answer is #2. Because it is their involvement you are seeking.
Change is difficult and will take some time. Depending upon the reasons for their reluctance outlined in Part One, it can be vital to seek marriage coaching/counseling.
There is hope, and I should know because I used to be a reluctant spouse. And now I’ve written multiple books on the subject and started a business teaching about it!