SERIES: The Reluctant Spouse – Part 4

Welcome to the latest series at – “The Reluctant Spouse”

Perhaps the most challenging issue I face as a financial author, teacher, and coach is “the reluctant spouse.” One spouse wants to prepare and live by a budget, invest, save, give, and live frugally. Meanwhile, their spouse is very reluctant to participate in the budgeting process and routinely makes contradictory financial decisions. In this series, I will share some tips and ideas to help bring the reluctant spouse on board as an active and willing participant in financial decisions.

Part Four  Invite your spouse to participate

As you tell your reluctant spouse about your plans, hopes, and dreams, you will be sharing your passion. After all, you can’t separate your heart from money. This means your passion will flow out of you as you share your dreams. Bill Hybels has shared this about vision, “Vision is painting a picture with passion and then putting people into it.”

As you passionately tell your spouse of the vision you have for your marriage and future, it is important to “paint them into the picture.” Ask them to share some of their dreams with you. Ask the, “If we won the lottery …” question. Write their ideas down.

Then ask for their help in making those dreams come true.

Let’s be very clear. Ask them to take one step. Perhaps you will ask them to help prepare the monthly budget. Maybe you would like them to accompany you to a meeting with an investment officer. Even bolder, ask them to turn in their debit card and convert to the cash envelope system to control impulsive spending decisions.

Remember: one step. Not twenty. Not even five. One.

I’ll finish the series with an important reminder in Part Five.

Read the entire series (available after 10/21/2014)

1 Comment

  1. Dalton Blankenship on October 20, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    For us, it was letting my spouse know that he didn’t have to serve our marriage outside his giftedness and that this was okay with me. As long as we shared all the DECISIONS, I would be willing to keep up with the budget/bills, if he would relinquish that area of our lives to me.

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